A couple of years ago I made a Map of the Soul based on different personality styles. I realized that looking at myself honestly required a structured approach… some thing that would make sense to me from personal experience. I created many different versions over the years but the Whinny the Pooh model still jumps out as the most simple and helpful. It has facilitated many wonderful conversations with friends and clients. In my circles we talk so freely about the mind of Christ and the heard of God, but it never really clicked with me until I experienced both the mercy and grace of God.
I took a lot of pride in my achievements as a young adult, and I still do but it doesn’t define my identity anymore. My identity was totally wrapped up in my facade (stage mask). If you would have known me 10 years ago you would have totally recognized my Tiger mentality. A performer, jumping around, goofy and always in for a bit of fun. I would love the spot light, be the center of attention and popular with the girls. I realize now that this was my way of dealing with reality. Avoiding and neglecting any form of responsibility and super selfish. Everything was about me, myself and I. In my bad days I would actually feel very insecure, fearful, and I would over-react emotionally and aggressive when people would criticize me. I would strike back with a counter attack or draw back into my isolation to hide my fear and shame. I would run away… I almost moved to Kazakstan when I was 25 to run away from my life back home. (That’s a story for an other time). This all changed when I allowed myself to be known and loved by my wife who is very direct and doesn’t let me get away with BS. I had to surrender my soul to her when we started dating. She actually pursuit me! She loved me unconditionally! She made me understand that love cannot be manipulated. I couldn’t earn her love! I couldn’t outsmart her love. I couldn’t fool her. She actually loved me no matter what. You could say I fell into her love and into her Grace. I feel very blessed, and I trust God that He has brought her into my life. Did I deserve it? I think not! Can we expect good things from a good God? I believe so! Grace and Mercy have become my passion and purpose.
I used to be the prodigal son… Now I have to watch myself not to become the older brother. Cheers and Stayfun 🙂